Dark Queen of the Whump (scorpionmars) wrote in mysticthrill,
Dark Queen of the Whump

  • Mood:
You, uh, don't absolutely *hate* these things, right? With the exception of that one person...

I just want to share the wealth! Get a good laugh! ::whimpers:: *Please* put away the flaming torches and pitchforks!

Things the LOTR Cast Would Never Say

Aragorn: (looking in mirror) Is that a ZIT?!

Gimli: I think Im gay.

Legolas: Oooowwiieee! Lego got a booboo!

Legolas: (shaking butt at Gimli) Wootsie-wootsie-woo! (in taunting voice)

Boromir: So explain again WHY I would want an all-powerful ring?

Gandalf: Does this hat make my nose look big? Does this robe make my butt look fat?

Legolas: Does this bow fade out my eyes?

Gandalf: I think Ill try being gay today.

Gimli: So who wants to play leapfrog?

Frodo: Screw the ring! I wanna get drunk!

Saruman: (for scene after the Seeing Stone gives him orders) Gosh, theres an awful draft in here!


Sauron: I said I was sorry!

Aragorn: My main goal in life is to become a homemaker. Or, if I cant find a suitable mate, transvestite will certainly do.

Sauron: Now WHERE did I put those DUCKY JAMMIES?!?!

Pippin: (after attacking Urak-Hai) Now that you mention it, Merry, I dont think theyre teddy bears.
Merry: Well, its a little late NOW, Pippin!

Urak-Hai: (during any battle scene) MOMMY!!!

Gimli: (stamps foot in a huff) I am so DIRTY!

Elrond: Okay, who took the razor? You KNOW I shave my legs every Wednesday!

Legolas: Eeeew, blood!

Arwen: Screw you, Aragorn! Im eloping with Legolas!

Galadriel: Colgate Total really keeps your teeth white! And it protects from cram residue for twelve hours straight!

Boromir: (with three arrows protruding from chest) So, Aragorn, how do like my new look?

Boromir: SCREW Gondor! SCREW the White City! I wanna get drunk with Frodo!

Galadriel: (on phone) Hello, Playboy? How do I apply for a modeling job?

Frodo: I hate you, Sam!
Sam: I hate you, Frodo!

Merry: Oh, nothing, Im just trying to get in touch with my feminine side.

Pippin: Starting now, Im on a diet!

Orcs: Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb!

Black Riders: Let us leap and frolic!

Merry: (after having been captured by the Orcs; singing) I got to admit its gettin better gettin better all the time! (Yknow, the Phillips ad song)

Pippin: (after having been captured by the Orcs; singing) Nobody knows the trouble Ive seen

Sauron: (during battle scene) Wait! Stop! I lost my contact!

Gimli: And then Barbie says to Malibu Stacy

Legolas: Who let the dogs out? Whoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo hoo!

Legolas: (singing) Im to sexy fo ma shirt! (rips shirt off) ~authors note: we wish~

Legolas: Im so cute in my elf jammies!

Gandalf: Hey, Balrog! Nah nah nah boo boo! Oh, shit

Legolas: Really? You mean elves are immortal?

Pippin: I hate beer, too.

Aragorn: I need a shave.

Aragorn: Im scared of clowns

Orlando Bloom: No, I will NOT shake my butt and say, Wootsie-wootsie-woo! for ten bucks! Security!

Legolas: I am Count Dracula! Vootsie-vootsie-voo!

Gandalf: Co-Co Puffs goooooooooood

Sauron: Now whered I put my exfoliating, moisturizing, peach-scented bubble bath?

Frodo: (in Mordor) Dammit! Were missing the Superbowl!

Black Rider: Ha! I have pointy shoes and you dont!

Legolas: What do you mean I have pointy ears?! Is that some kind of insult?!

Boromir: Getting into Mordor? Pfff! Piece o cake!

Legolas: Oooh! Another waterfall! I can do a Pocahontas dive!

Elrond: I wanna be a Smurf.

Pippin: Awwww, cute little baby orc.

Gandalf: (in sing-song voice) Pippins an idiot! Pippins an idiot!

Galadriel: Oooh, hes got a nice butt!

Galadriel: Oh, do shut up!

Galadriel: If the quest should fail, absolutely nothing bad would happen to anybody.

Frodo: Hmmm maybe I shouldnt offer the ring to everyone I meet.

Frodo: Sam, you cant swim!
Sam: Yes, I can! Oh, wait, youre right

Sauron: (Frodo is holding out the ring ~ AGAIN ~ and talking to Sam; Sauron sneaks up behind them) YOINK! (snatches ring)

Legolas: (hops about singing the Pink Panther theme music)

Legolas: (pretending to be asleep (w/eyes open as is the way of the elves) and notices Frodo staring at him) mmmmBOO!
Frodo: Aaaack!

Gandalf: Spiffy!

Gimli: Nifty.

Gandalf: Rainbow Brite! Seeeee the shining light! Cuz Im gonna take ya to the Rainbow Briiiiiiite! Starlight flies riiiiiight before your eyes! And rainbow colors will cheer you uuuuuup! Maaaaaagic light! Gonna take ya for a ride! Maaaaaagic light! Gonna take ya for a ride!

Saruman: What a spiffy/nifty lil ring.

Saruman: Not now! Im late for my manicure appointment!

Gandalf: (to Saruman) You big wuss!

Gandalf: Go ahead, these stairs look strong enough.

Gimli: Awwww, I wuv ooo, Wegowas!

Sauron: (looking in mirror) Is that a big metal ZIT?!

Aragorn: Yknow what? Lets just give up the whole quest idea and see if we cant find a Dairy Queen.

Frodo: Maybe I should just give the ring to Gandalf and join the pom squad or something.

Frodo: Happy birthday, Sam! I got you a ring!

Gandalf: (to Saruman, shaking his butt) Wootsie-wootsie-woo!

Gandalf: (as Saruman is spinning him around on the floor) Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Aragorn: Oooh! Candy! But (gasp!), alas! The ancient Clown Demon guards it!

Gandalf: Have you ever noticed how my eyebrows connect to my hair?

Saruman: Whats the point of having an all-powerful ring if I cant even get a date?!

Aragorn: Me-sa Jar-Jar Binks! Who-sa you-sa?

Pippin: I honestly didnt do it.

Bilbo: WAZZUUUUUP?! (this ones for OaTmEaLfAiRy)

Frodo: (looking into Galadriel's mirror) Is my nose really that big?
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