February 11th, 2002

Sorry 'bout crosspostings...such thing as too many LotR communites? Nah...

New Year's Resolutions for LOTR characters:

Aragorn: I will wash my hair

Legolas: I will stop being the subject of practically every romantic fanfic on the Net

Boromir: I will know when to give up and die

Gandalf: I will tell people about danger /before/ it comes, not after

Arwen: I will stop looking so darned good in long dresses

Horses in the ford: We will not earn money by getting jobs in Guiness adverts

Troll: I will not get part-time jobs in 'Harry Potter' or 'Monsters Inc'

Black Riders: We will feed our horses Tunes because their throats are so sore.

Isildur: I will stick to the plot of the book and not be selfish, so I will only take one of Sauron's fingers, not the whole hand (sorry I took so long on that one, it's a subject I feel very strongly about - IS GOLLUM GONNA CUT OFF FRODO'S WHOLE HAND THEN MR JACKSON? EH? EH?)

The Uruk Hai: We will get ourselves a new make-up artist

Aragorn: I will stop being a pyromanic

Elrond: I will get myself a new hair stylist

Arwen: I will keep my hands of Aragorn and let every other girl have a turn

Gollum: I will get myself a new PR advisor

Sam: I will learn how to swim

Gandalf: I will cut my hair

Gimli: I will get myself a new hairstyle

Gandalf: I will get myself a new look

Saruman: I will get a life

Frodo: I will learn how to do another facial expression other than my 'Look-at-me-I'm-so-cute-and-scared' one

Merry and Pippin: We will stop following Aragorn's example of being pyromaniacs

Balrog: I will quit smoking

Uruk Hai: We will stop having Marilin Manson as our role model

Leoglas: I will share my shampoo with the rest of the Fellowship (Ever noticed how Legolas's hair is always perfect, while the rest of them look like they haven't washed their's for days? *coughAragorncough*)

Elves: We will learn the meaning of the word 'masculine' and then take appropriate action
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Queen of the Crossposts!! Mwahahaha!!!


This is what I'm going to do some day! I WILL DO IT!! ALL SHALL LOVE MY ACTION FIGURES AND DESPAIR!!


MonkeeGirl4077: If I bought those Merry and Pip action figures, I'd go over the edge. I'd be like Jack on Will and Grace with his Cher doll...

"Did you just call them *toys*!?!?! Okay, *Barbie*, just back off before I release a can of Pippin whump-ass on you!" ::waves Pippin threateningly::

I'd be sitting at school, playing with them during class. ::high little scottish voice:: 'ello, Merry, do you want to go into Farmer Maggots crop and have him weild his sickle at us?

::Cute little English accent:: Of course, Pippin! I need a new carrot. I broke my old one!

::Teacher:: Uh...Laura...do you need to call home?

::Still as Merry, waving him around:: Don't insult my intelligence!! ::whips out tooth-pick sized sword and waves it around manically::

::Throws Pippin at the teacher with a cute little war-cry::

::Pip hits the teacher and falls on the floor::

::Merry:: PIPPIN!!! NOOOOOOO!!! ::Jumps out of desk (making Merry climb down the leg of it to reach the floor) and makes him cross over the him:: PIPPIN!!!! AHHH!!! WHY? TAKE ME INSTEAD!!!

::entire class backs out of the door slowly::

::whips out Aragorn action figure:: WE MUST GET HIM TO MY HO!

Er....I mean....Arwen.
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